Marriages are often times overrated with the celebratory aspect of the event rather than the commitment between the two parties.
Make it Personal
I was sitting with a friend having a dialogue on how men view women and vice versa, especially of the African descent . The conversation became very touchy as we got deeper in traditional and non-traditional thinking. I went on to make a statement that is very dear to me in my beliefs. Marriages should not be a celebratory event as it takes away from the personal commitment between the two parties. Often it is seen where the event is so extreme that family members are falling out with each other, there becomes financial stress, bickering and snickering of the details of the event. The promises and vows are based on prewritten vows without personal input in some cases that are seen in more of a traditional setting such as a Christian church. I acknowledge those who write their own vows as it personalize the commitment to the other party in which I definitely agree.
Sign on the dotted line
Being on the topic of religion aspect and marriages, I went on to mention that there is no need for a marriage to go through the courts or a pastor for it to be validated or to become official. I feel that if I am committing myself to someone based on what I feel and the truth in my heart, why would I need permission or a signature of approval to love who I love or want to be with for the rest of my life as well as the other way around. It is based on the promises of the two and whatever spiritual powers that be that should matter the most.
I asked around to get different views of the purpose of marriage/divorce and why must it go through another system to become official. The responses varied but still surfaced around the notion of finances and the law of the land. One noted, as it was mentioned in the bible that we must obey the law of the land as it is God's order. This statement confused me because the law of the land does not favor all individuals based on economics and ethnicity. If this is accurate does God allow this as well? I was also told that God loves marriage, he performed his first miracle at a wedding where is changed water into wine. In fact, the bible does mention this event however, it did not mention the act of courts or documents being associated to the marriage just God's approval to join the two together. This led me to believe that we are truly not practicing the word of God but the word of man and then consolidating the two together to fit the needs of man's agenda. I began to research more about the idea of marriage and divorce as it became even more interesting after gaining the views of others.
"Love is not easy, but it feels worth it" - Eve Hotep
From experience, love is not easy and is a continuing growth process as we change as people over time. Therefore, I based my thoughts even on divorce. After, reading over the paperwork of divorce I noticed that the questions were based on financial aspects such as who owns what, debts, bills, money in the bank and so on. A system that is not designed to help protect and educate on marriages and divorces is not a system that I would want to go through for these two things. I was told that the contract between the courts is documentation to protect you and your finances just in case something goes wrong and the other party change their mind about the commitment. This is bound to happen under any circumstance but the order of it is a way to control a natural thing which is love and even hate if it comes to that.
Let's talk Money
Based on these responses assures my thoughts on the misconceptions of what marriage is according to how we have been taught it to be or should not be. So I would imagine having a strong foundation to start on between the person you are pursuing in making a commitment with, would be advantageous. Discussing finances, expectations, and other procedures in how to love and commit to the other person would be profound and even substantial to put into an agreement plan between the two parties without the influence of others in the realm of spiritual powers. When it comes to finances in marriages there should be three bank accounts. Each one should have their own accounts with what is theirs as they have come into the relationship with and one joint account of what is being brought in between the two based on shared businesses that has been generated between the two. I see this as only being fair and understanding. This will not work without a strong communication and the disregard to what the world and society thinks your relationship should go.
In conclusion of this topic, I feel that love is free spirited and should have the blessings of God or any spiritual power that be in your life. Alignment with your partner is all that matters because at the end of the day this is who you will have to love, fight and cherish for as long as possible because nothing is forever expect death. So why not, make it easier to love freely and leave freely. It shouldn't cost money to love as we pay so much emotionally to the cause already as well as divorcing as we pay for that. It cost to live not love.
-Eve Hotep
"Keep Howling At The Earth"
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