Letting go of the relationship is the easy part. It is the lingering aftermath that is the hardest part to deal with.
" I'll take the ties before the strings." - Earth Waters
I heard of the term "soul ties." I first learned about it during a marriage counseling session that I attended before getting married. The prophet at the time suggested that I go into prayer about letting me loose of them. I surely wasn't concerned about holding on to anyone because I had no feelings or even felt like I was attached in any way. I was assuming that it meant I was holding on to someone from the past.
Later, I gradually started to understand what it meant by soul ties. When breaking the word soul ties down you first think of the part of you that is unseen (the spiritual or supernatural part of you) and then the word tie (meaning not loose of or tightly gripped together.) So, my next thought was how can I rid of the spiritual connection or tie I had with people I have dated or simply had sex with? It became a dire need for me after a failed relationship.
So, thinking about from the time I started having sex and dating until now, whether the relationship was for a day (one night stand) to 20 years I would have to go back and do some major cleaning up. But this all went under the microscope to help me rid of the soul ties. It wasn't that I had to think about every single person I had dealt with or had sex with. But to look within me to see what caused me to fail in my relationships. And then, analyze and evaluate the effect of past relationships on how I see dating and being married.
I went into relationships not trusting...why because someone had lost my trust before by sleeping with a friend in the next room while I was in bed sleep. This memory was attached to this person that had never left my spirit. I associated this with every man. Unforgiveness followed because I then held on to the past hurt of mental, verbal, and physical abuse from another relationship and I left the situation without a closure for myself. So, any time there was a problem in my marriage it resulted in these very two things. My trust was damaged people, and I created a fear of anything being real by holding on to unforgiveness thinking that relationships are associated with abuse or pain. I have encountered different situations with different people and not all of them are bad experiences. Some of the experiences have left me with memories that I have taken into other relationships comparing from one relationship to the next. trusted before by sleeping with a friend in the next room while I was in bed sleep. This memory was attached to this person that had never left my spirit. I associated this with every man. Unforgiveness followed because I then held on to the past hurt of mental, verbal, and physical abuse from another relationship and I left the situation without a closure for myself. So, any time there was a problem in my marriage it resulted in these very two things. My trust was damaged people, and I created a fear of anything being real by holding on to unforgiveness thinking that relationships are associated with abuse or pain. I have encountered different situations with different people and not all of them are bad experiences. Some of the experiences have left me with memories that I have taken into other relationships comparing from one relationship to the next.
If these things lingered this long and I have intertwined my soul with the next person who may also be struggling with soul ties, then I have just opened myself up to a slew of other ties. Pretty scary now as I think of it...
I knew it would take more than just a prayer to get me out of the rut I was in. Though meditation and prayer helped in the process I had to rip myself apart to find out why I held on to these things. The answer was I never faced or dealt with the issues and how I felt. I kept it moving and journeying on with my life. I didn't simply stop and take out the time with myself to ask how I felt or what I needed to heal. So, like a cut, I kept putting a bandage over a wound that was still open. I would replace the bandage with another and then another. Or in other words, a person after a person, and every time that bandage would fall off the wound would be exposed, and it would hurt again and then again... The wound seems to increase in size and the bandage seemed to get smaller. (Poetry) I was causing more damage to myself and didn't realize it.
I'm learning to realize that it is okay to let go, to stop, to think, and most of all to speak my truth. The greatest time of this journey is teaching me and creating a better version of myself without shame of my experiences. The result will be a true love story of how I managed to rid my soul ties by forgiving myself and others, loving myself abundantly so that I may have enough to share with someone that would be willing to share it back with me. Having this mindset develops self-love and self- worthiness where you question yourself and ask if the next person is even worth your soul tie.
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