Does social media ruin relationships? No, people ruin relationships.
"The biggest giants are hidden in the smallest caves." -Earth Waters
Honestly, people use social media in ways that work for them. Whether it is promoting a business, photo storage, marketing, networking, or a personal diary, it is tailored to their needs. The content of social media would be a bit boring if everyone used it for the same reasons. Social media can become warfare depending on what is posted and what is not posted. We often see violence, subliminal messages, comedy, love, and other entertainment. But there are times when social media becomes personal for some people. It is used to make direct messages to others or simply expose the behind scenes of one's life publicly. This is seen when a relationship has become faulty and one feels hurt by one's actions. Therefore, it is not social media that ruins relationships, it is the behavior of those on social media that ruins relationships. Many times there are underlying issues in the relationship before it reaches a social media platform.
Moment of Truth, not Trust
For instance, in one relationship I was in, the guy posted every single thing we did and gave every detail of what was being done. I had a problem with this because what was seen on social media did not add up to the truth behind doors. We were not in love and were very much unhappy in our relationship. We started off following each other, giving likes and views and I no longer could take it. He then started to question me about random people that would make comments under my photos. We eventually agreed that we would not follow each other as it seemed to cause us even more issues. The truth of the matter was he had a jealousy problem and trust issues from past experiences. I was not happy with myself or the relationship I was in. Social media was not the issue, it was deeper than that.
The next relationship I was in started off similar where we followed each other but rarely posted us together. We would be out and he would then make videos to post as if he was alone and single. I noticed this behavior and started to feel as though I was a secret to the world and to his family. I was hardly mentioned anywhere outside of the home. When it came to him taking pictures he would angle the photos to ensure I was not in sight. I became the jealous one feeling that he would post everyone else but me. I found myself posting him more to make sure that others would see it and to clear up any confusion about him being single as he portrayed. We both had issues because he was afraid of the relationship not lasting and what others would think of the many relationships he has been in before. I was unhappy with myself and had low self-esteem and trust issues. I realized that the issues I was having were me the entire time. I was expecting others to use social media in a way that was pleasing to me. We removed each other from social media to have a more personalized use of it.
Social media does not build nor tear down relationships, people do. Choosing to post someone or not on social media does not justify the foundation of the relationship. I think this sort of thinking is immature on one's behalf.
(On another note, I guess this is similar to attending a party with your partner and he or she does not introduce you as their other half.)
Social media behavior should be communicated during the dating phase of the relationship no different than learning what a person likes and dislikes. I have heard of the choice of not having social media at all in the relationship to avoid certain issues. I can agree with a certain point because this would allow more time to focus on each other. In some instances, people would give more time to social media than to their partner. Lying in the bed and both are on their phones browsing, would decrease attention towards one another. This interferes with quality time for intimacy, communication, and bonding. When these very things are jeopardized it can turn out to be a giant in your relationship. We start to see phases of indirect/direct cheating, looking for attention in other places and simply becoming disconnected from our partner. The easiest way to do this is through social media.
I see it and I want it
Many times, women and men lust after the things that they see on social media. Whether it is Facebook, News, Blogs, or any other form of media. It plays on the mindset of individuals that are weak in certain areas of self-awareness. We see an extensive amount of men and women that present themselves in sexual manners with hopes of gaining likes and views. Women and men are consistently viewing these advertisements from people and businesses that they follow and eventually seek to obtain what they see. Similar to a food commercial after seeing it so many times, your taste for it will slowly shift to desiring that very thing. Therefore, after viewing one hundred women who seem to have the perfect body shape (BBL) the mind will shape around that image. That is why we see an increase in women that are seeking to change themselves because of what appears to be the norm. Men will start to desire these types of women. Women will start to desire the men that are built like machines and flaunt money that they acquire from god knows what. We must be careful of how much time we spend on social media, we need to learn how to use social media for greater purposes for business opportunities but most of all we must stay reminded of what it is for, such as putting money into the owner's pockets. We should never let it be the cause of anything personal in our lives such as it affecting who and what we love or care about. If it takes you two to not follow each other or not have social media at all and yet still maintain a healthy relationship by all means do so. Your mental and emotional health should always be the ground on which you stand.
Comments