The repetitious cycle of behavior could either be detrimental or favorable depending on the behavior that is being cycled. I have referred to myself as a "Creature of Habit" for quite some time now. The issue I have with that is for one some habits should be broken if the habit is not conducive to life and in the journey in which I am taking this life. Secondly, it stations one within certain parameters, and creatures become afraid to practice or branch out to new norms or behaviors.
"My superpower is the ability to change. Not the world just me and may the world adjust." - Ife Mensah
Having the tendency to practice something (habit) or simply having an intelligible form (pattern), or a series of repetitious orders (cycles) sounds close to mental health concerns. Now let's be clear we all have known the co-worker to make it to work at a specific time every day and park in the same space every day of the week. Then we have seen the one co-worker who gets to work at the same time, parks in the same parking spot but flies through the door with his tie around his head, one shoe on, and a hand full of documents that seem to have been eaten by the dog the night before. This is the same situation with different outcomes.
We often see this in others' lives quicker than we see the patterns in our own lives. We are comfortable and, in some cases, we don't take the time out to analyze ourselves or even notice the behaviors and patterns. Because of these issues, we carry the habit mentality into our personal lives, relationships, and even our careers. Behaviors are not beneficial in most instances we are just so darn used to the comfort of things we normally do. OH! but what happens when we are faced with challenging those behaviors with something different than what we are used to? The feeling of discomfort can either make us or break us and unbelievably some give up during this process and choose to stay broken.
Moment of Truth: In my relationship when things got tough, I would give up and leave the relationship because I was attempting to avoid the conflict and communication part of the relationship. When things seem to simmer, I would creep back into the relationship until the next thing happens then the cycle repeated. During this time, I became unhappy not with the relationship but with myself because of these behaviors. I started to feel like I was trapped in this place and there was no escape. In another time of my life, I would allow people to hurt me either physically or emotionally and then place myself back in the situation to be vulnerable once more. The apologies came, the forgiveness, and then the cycle of abuse. I found myself again unhappy with the abuse of course but still with myself and the pattern I set for myself.
So, what am I saying? Why does this blog seem so repetitive? The patterns must be broken, and it cannot be done without your consent and your decision to break the habits, and the patterns and to stop the cycles if the outcomes are not favorable to your life. Behaviors of lying, low self-esteem, overeating, forms of abuse, unhealthy lifestyles, drug abuse, use of profanity, careless sexual acts, etc., put our minds and body into trauma mode. When the body goes into this mode the symptoms of trauma start to become present and we find ourselves feeling hopeless and sad, easily angered, with difficulty concentrating, guilt and shame, and a series of other symptoms. Seeking yourself out to be able to identify these detrimental cycles or patterns and to then either change them or stop them cold turkey. Seeking help from a therapist or counselor may help if you are not sure how to start this process. Simply talking with someone that you can trust with the most intimate part of you. This is because others may have experienced it and have knowledge in the area in which you are seeking. This is part of self-help and the journey of personal growth we must not be afraid to change or to seek ways to better ourselves.
"If you want something you never had, you must be willing to do something you did."-Unknown
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