Depression seems to creep in slowly and immediately you feel as though you are drowning in it without a life jacket. However, I have always had a little voice in my head reassuring me that I will be just fine. The biggest struggle is the feeling of not being fine.
"Sometimes life seems so unfair" - Herman D. Trejo
Many people suffer from depression of some sort whether it is a form of grief, financial burdens, or being overwhelmed with everyday life. How depression affects us is what makes the difference in depression. Some may react in a way that they seem even happier than normal while it seems as though they are just extra bubbly the darkness lies behind the scenes and it is all mental. On the other hand, one may be very quiet and distant and it shows physically that something is not right with them.
My first experience with depression was at the age of 14 years old. Though I wasn't sure what I was feeling at the time I still remember feeling lost and a bit spaced out of reality. When my mother took me to the doctor and the diagnosis came back I wondered how I caught it and how do I get rid of it. I thought it was some sort of contagious illness that would go away with the medicine that the doctor prescribed. Sure enough, after taking it I seem to be back to normal and went on my merry way. Later on, I had another encounter with depression and I was back in this dark hole that I had experienced before. Refusing to run to the doctor or speak to someone, out of curiosity about how long this would last and the belief that I was in control of it all. As time went by I became sadder, and felt hopeless and not worthy of life. This feeling became draining and not only was it clouding my thoughts and feelings it started to show on the outside to my family and friends. They soon became worried about what was going on and suggested I speak to a therapist. Now my thoughts about therapy went like this...
Who are they to tell me about my life?
They are getting paid to hear me talk about myself.
They don't know half of the things I have been through so, how can they relate to me?
What do they do to fix the problems or the trauma?
Well, needless to say, I broke down and went into therapy. I did not go because it was suggested to me but I went because I was ready to fix myself. I was tired of the rotating cycles of depression and being clueless about what helped during this time. The therapist allowed me to speak there was no hesitation in my openness about how I felt about therapy. I was just not ready for the therapist's response. She stated, "Oh, Honey I am not going to fix you, you are going to fix you. I am just lending you the tools to do the job." From that point, I knew I was doing the right thing. I was tired of hearing I know what you are going through and then a long silence. I wanted true healing from my traumas and things that haunted me from my past. The therapist seems to dig deep enough into the wounds that were still scarred and opened them back up for them to heal correctly because the bandages were not cutting them. I became a surgeon and the therapist was merely a nurse.
"You must want to fix yourself." -Earth Waters
Seeking help was the best choice I could have ever made. No longer will I shut out the world when I am feeling alone. Leaning on someone for help or simply having someone to talk to on a daily basis to let them know that you are okay or going over your day helps reduce stress and depression that comes from everyday life issues. Don't be afraid to let someone know that you are not okay. You will be surprised to see those that care about your well-being.
My top 10 suggestions to reduce stress and depression:
1. Go out to the park by yourself and find the beauty in nature
2. Exercise/Yoga at least 30 minutes a day (Not my favorite)
3. Meditate/Pray (Breath)
4. Read a book, magazine, or blog (preferred blog H.A.T.E)
5. Watch your favorite movie
6. Write a poem, song, or story
7. Write worries on a sticky note and play trashketball
8. Do arts and crafts (find a hobby)
9. Sip a glass of red wine and listen to soft music
10. Practice writing in a journal.
"Trust to love yourself enough to love you back." - Earth Waters
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